Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Abominations, To Me

Lest you think New Zealand is all sunsets and rainbows and conversations with friendly, bright-eyed eels, allow me to delve into the less-than-desirable aspects of this little nation. Some of my pet peeves...

1. Lime-flavored milk
While their powdered-milk technology may be decades ahead of ours, the very existence of this ultra-pasturized, candy-colored abomination is offensive to me. Other artificially-flavored horrors include: banana, carmel, ROOT BEER, coffee, and cookies-and-cream. 
As a health-concious person, I find this to be dubious. 
As a Wisconsin girl, I find it to be morally reprehensible. 

Exhibit A
2. The term "jandals"
Taken from the clever combination of "Japanese" and "sandal". 
Call them flip-flops. Slappies. But please, not jandals...

3. Scented toilet paper
There are a lot of directions I could go with this rant, but as a classy lady, I will leave it at this: 

4. Hobbit-sized sinks
When I saw my first of many mini, shoebox-sized sink I thought, oh, cute. Until I tried to wash my hands. Folks, I am not what I would call and exceptionally large lady, but just one of my hands nearly filled up the whole sink. Forget about bathing a baby or washing your hair in a pinch; a big man wouldn't stand a chance of getting both meat paws under one of these dollhouse faucets.
This picture is almost to scale, the sink is so tiny.

5. The Excessively Fine-Groundness of Black Pepper
Alright, you may think that I am now grasping at straws to find things to bitch about, but really, pepper is an extremely important spice for me. And I am not kidding when I say that for whatever reason, it is ground up here to the consistency of dust. Or gunpowder. Or powdered sugar. 

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